I walk slowly, but I never walk backward.
…because backward is just not an option. Life goes by too fast and every day I spend with my children I feel like there are not enough hours in a day.
And yet, yesterday morning I got up, made breakfast, got them all ready to go see their (step)dad and there it was. Bang. I was alone. By myself. And I did not know what to do!
You know the feeling you get when you have the kids and every day with them? When you are exhausted after I don’t know how many months without a “break” and you start thinking of what you could do, where you could go by yourself even if it’s just for a few hours?! Yes, I also know this feeling and train of thought too well. So I thought it’ll be ok. I got errands to run, house to clean, can see a friend or two… Nada… All I did was sitting home after I was done cleaning.
Sitting by myself, feeling awfully lonely and lost without those munchkins. Started looking for new auto insurance, health insurance, more apartments…and could not manage to leave the house while it was nice outside. And who knows how long it’ll still be nice weather around here. As I was finally half dead of boredom, my new phone still did not come in the mail either, so I am completely out of touch as soon as I am out the house, I decided it is time. Time to move. I got up, ready, went and saw a friend for three hours while she was still at work.
Talking to grown ups. Something you kind of lose the ability to do when you around kids since more than 15 years …it was nice. But so awkward lol because you don’t have to repeat yourself, you can talk about normal topics and there are no why questions, or transformer mentioning every other sentence …total different league. 🙂
I enjoyed it, and it is now way too early to be up, but I couldn’t sleep anymore. Checked my email but no more replies from any of the apartments I have found yesterday, ten more, only the one that is a bit too expensive but I still want to take a look as soon as I have a phone. Why? Cause I calculated my butt off yesterday and if we slow down a bit for a few months we will be able to make it. So after I let one chance, the best so far, go by cause I tried to bend backwards for my oldest, her school and what she wants, I now solely start moving forward to get what is best for all of us and that will involve moving because it is just too expensive here no matter what.
Life is a gift. Never forget to enjoy and bask in every moment of it.
That is what I tend to do from now on and we only get stronger with every experience that we have and that we let us teach a lesson; good or bad doesn’t matter as long as you come out of it alive and smiling and stronger than before. Cause nothing can break you…