My journey alone first brings me back to one of my old hikes:
Not too long ago I did this hike with my two boys and both (4 and 10 years old) made it up half way, on the old, steep trail.
Today its nature and I.
My pre birthday hike.
Time to reflect on the past year, the things I made it through so far. To take a look at what life threw at me with all its might especially through the last year and a half.
But also, to be thankful and super grateful for some of the person’s life has brought into my heart.
I wish I could share this moment with one of the most important people in my life, next to my kids of course, but sadly this is something that has to wait for a little while longer. But, we will be doing this hike together!!!
He is my rainbow in my life and the reason I am back to hiking, back to the outdoors, back to adventure and to embracing life no matter what! He is the smile on my face when I don’t necessarily feel like smiling and the one that makes my heart smile and happy.
I will never forget our fun ghost town journeys, the hikes during our first summer together and just the simple fact that you brought back the person I think I had lost a few years ago!
While I am sitting here, you are with my all the way and I can feel you smile at me and your casual “I am proud of ya!” . Reflecting on all things life though, I have to say i am proud of myself as well and how far I got already after everything seemed so uncertain. And that for quite a while.
Not knowing if I would be able to stay here, to make life work for the kids, to have a roof over our heads and food on the table…it’s scary when you have to go through all of this in a basically fast track of emotions cause you are the only source of hope and strength your kids have.
Then you get up, put on your big girl panties and ass kicking boots, a brave face and you go to work!!
You work on making your life a good one, on giving your kids a good time, food in their bellies, roof over their heads and, most importantly, a home to come back to and a safe place.
I thank God for making me able to give my kids this life but I also thank him for bringing one amazing person into my life that made me feel “home” with him right away and who is my nr 1 got to with everything! God knew what he was doing when he brought your ass across my phone -literally !!!
He had a plan then and I think it worked out pretty good so far and only in our favors.
The last few minutes I am sitting here, I start to worry though. It’s part of me and who I am and I am worried about you! I see that you are not always doing as good as you want me to believe but I am glad you are so honest and open with me, which you are not with a lot of people. I am praying for you to be ok, to make the right decisions, and to know and feel that I am here for you when you need me!!
Now I start packing up, enough emotional reflecting, and I will make my way down this mountain shortly. For a quiet peaceful start into my birthday week I could only have asked for one better thing:
To do all this with you, the one who brought me back to it all!! But fear not, there are many more adventures to come and you will be part of the majority of it and next year, you and I will summon this wonderful mountain together!! Since it’s still on your list of things to do and mountains to climb that is……
I am asking you all, if you even made it this far into this whole ‘book’, tell the people you love that you love them, that they are important to you!
Take a few risks here and there, it’s worth it, believe me!
And love and embrace life with all you can!
Live a little and be brave!
I love you and I couldn’t have asked for a better last year than I had with my family, friends and You !!!