I think I would lie here if I’d say both didn’t feel the strain this hole non communicating brought on in their lives. Both were out of sorts and temporarily, so it seemed, at a loss on what to do.
And in came the wall she then always put up, not letting him in as she always did and he felt it. As bad as she felt, she had no idea how bad he was feeling. It broke herself a little bit every day and when her head seemed to win, her heart couldn’t move on, her heart always was with him and she had to admit at one point that there was just no other and she was always hoping for a outcome that would make both happy. That would make both see, how great life could be together.
She even went as far as telling herself, and a few close friends who actually knew how much he meant to her, that she couldn’t hold out anymore for something he was just not ready to give. As much as she knew that he felt the same feelings, that he felt the same attraction, she also felt him retreating every time he realized he wanted more from her. And he was somehow scared of his own feelings for her and how they only grew stronger and the, as he told me once, void he felt when she gave him the only thing he ever asked for: freedom!
He never thought it possible that he actually really might want her, need her or was ever ready to actually show the world what she meant to him. And yet, once she slowly retreated he knew that was exactly what he wanted and something needed to be done.
And that’s what he did; Valentines day came around ..
German gal living and loving life in WA State