..there are lots of curveballs life throws at you, right?! Right! The downside is that these unwarranted, unforeseen curveballs tend to shake my otherwise pretty robust and steady ( or at least I believe I have this) state of mind of mine and I get thrown back and forth and when it is about financial things I really get angry. Not saying that anyone does not get angry cause, we all need that hard earned money we have in our bank accts and have our own bills to pay and such, but man, it throws me out of everything. And I mean really everything.
I start running around with a chicken with its head cut off, not thinking for the first few minutes and become really, really hot-headed and agitated and although my mind, deep down in that situation needs to know what to do or what the next steps are that I should take, I get busy, loud with the ppl around me cause they don’t, here it comes, read.my.mind. in those situations and haven’t looked up or helped me with whatever I asked them to do only 5 seconds ago or so.
Today is the best example.
Sometime after 6 pm, I am checking my PayPal cause I am waiting on some bday money to come in for the middle minion and whoops! there it is! a payment to a gaming company neither I nor my daughter have authorized and it hits me. I can already feel that I am getting really annoyed, really fast and the downside is that you cannot even see that payment yet on the acct it was taken out of when PayPal didn’t have enough money in cause it just.happened.today!!
Now I have made my rounds; called the gaming system company, looked for all my information at first, made sure there really was NO charge anywhere to be found on that damn thing (next to knowing 110% that there is no payment info anywhere on that acct which I conveniently double checked as well since I was in that whole thing already) after they were done talking to me, I contacted PayPal, opened a case with them cause I am really pissed now since no one has my PayPal information and such and while I was there I saw that it wasn’t even charged with my card but with my actual checking acct and seeing it isn’t the primary acct on that damn PP I have had it with today. Why have I had it even more? Cause by now the clocks strike 640 pm and that means my bank is not open anymore and all I can do for now is to sit on my hands, wait for the charge to show up and hope that 9 am will come swiftly so my butt can go down to the bank first thing after dropping off the boys at VBS….
Now, I ask you, why is it that once things in life start to work out for the better, seem to go into the right direction, I always get thrown a curveball of those dimensions?? It’s not like I have enough of that green that I don’t care about a whatever amount charge they made. It’s not like I have really nothing else to worry about. Also, I have proven that I can come back swinging when I am down so, why I ask, is there any need to strike me down again??
Yes, I calmed down, already lined up all my steps, things, print out, info’s etc I need for tomorrow and am my every so resilient self with an outlook on life that makes it worth living a hundred times more cause I don’t let you get me down but damn it, catching a break would be greatly appreciated. Especially on my middle minion’s bday tomorrow when I had other things planned and NOT sitting in a bank worrying about money issues…
One step forward, two steps back, I keep swimming, swimming, swimming.