Today’s been tough. We got into the car this morning to drive up north to see our Zissou.
He’s been in our lives since 2 years with bi- weekly sleepovers at our house so the kids could play with him, the better half would get a break from doggie watch, since I bought our little house. But these past months have been rough, man. An old man by now, Zissou has gotten sick, healthy, sick again… to which at some point the better half started to remodel a little red wagon into the Belafonte so we could take him to parks still, to beaches, to enjoy the outside as much as possible.
Then today the ‘big day’ for the minions. Going to see our baby. I could tell that middle minion didn’t like to see my baby bear this sick at all, the youngest couldn’t quite process it and the oldest made him waffles to feast on!
My heart broke a little more then and there, seeing him on his couch, not eating much, lifeless, not the baby I knew so far. But, it also told me it’s time to say goodbye. The time where we will have to let him go …all of us… The minions, myself, the better half, his brother & girlfriend, everyone. It’s time. Admittedly sooner than we all would like, but we all know it’s what is best for him. And no pain as what we all want the most for him!!
The fun memories we have of him will by far outweigh the ones where we see him in pain and we all made sure, one way or another, that our dog, beloved by everyone who came into his life, had the best life a dog could possibly have!!
But while I am the all rational thinking type of person, try to figure out how to be there for everyone, it finally settled into my minions’ brains tonight that they would have to say goodbye to Z very soon. It settled in that this time he is not getting better, but this will be the best decision for him. “But Z is our friend!” and “what if there’s a big miracle and he’ll be better by next week?” are a few things I had to answer, go through and were sentences that made my mommy heart ache for my kids, my man, for Z and the visible void that will be in our lives without this baby bear!!
♡ We will always love you, baby bear!! ♡
For tonight though, he is finally sleeping and dreaming as are his friends, the minions, and that makes me happy through the aching of my heart! A pssssst of it will go with him when it’s time to elect go!