The days have been long. The nights have been mostly sleepless. And the mornings, although I got to see amazing, wonderful sunrises, the promise of a new day to come, where brought on too early once more.
These past days where rough and tough and the brain is moving fast. Twice as fast, spinning constantly, more thoughts, old and new, more of the ‘what if’ and fears old and new on what to do, where life is going, about feeling alone althoug I am always with the better half; if not in person definitely in heart, mind and soul.
But it will never replace that personal one on one, the personal interaction and to see people and to be across from then when you have talks, important talks, discussions and try to work through some major things like loss. Mostly though, I think I am just sick of being the ‘strong one’ the one anyone can count one when I would need a shoulder to cry on, a hug as well. And through the loss of my baby bear, some of these thoughts and concerns came out during these past days and it can always just make us stronger in our relationships, right!?
As for taking care of myself, sitting around and trying to catch up with sleep is still the motto and on the agenda… Can only get better from here on out. Pain heals and memories remain 🙂