I have been sitting here a few days, thinking, contemplating.
Who are we? Who am I? What is it really that we need in other people and what makes them ‘friends’ or only ‘acquaintances’?
Through these past 10 years, that was when I got married, embarked on a marvelous journey and also lived through the darkest times of my life so far, I have come to lose quite a few of those so-called friends.
The ones who were with me, stuck with me, are my girls I knew since I was 3 (my oldest and longest friend), 12 (in one case) and 16 (in another) years old. Longer than seven years and friendship last a lifetime people say.
But, everyone else, or most of the people I got to know through our time in the Army turned out to be mere acquaintances rather than anything else or anyone I could ever rely on.
This train of thought occurs to me more and more these past days. People I don’t hear from unless I am the only one reaching out, trying to stay on contact, only get back to me when they need something and truth is it’s making me rather sad.
Although an introvert by heart I have my moments where I would like to be out, have girl time and just be around friends (seeing family is a bit hard with them being 8000+ km away from here) and in those moments I realize I have no one here really. There will never be get-togethers for dinner just cause we felt like it. Or friends at my place for movie nights and endless talks.
My heart truly aches at that thought in some moments but then again my heart is light knowing that cutting the toxic out of our lives is the best thing we can do to grow, to survive and to better ourselves.
Just some food for thought and some ramblings on a quiet day.